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You know, you never know how old you are until you hang around a bunch of happy, inspired, and motivated youths like I did recently. I emceed a dinner for an organization which I believe in wholeheartedly called the 21st Century Leaders. It’s basically a group that finds the best-of-the-best and the brightest High School kids and invites them to spend some time with companies to learn what goes on behind the corporate iron curtain. It’s like a big summer camp for the smart kids.

So, there I was sitting at a table amongst 12 High School kids who’s SAT scores looked more like Coordinating Producer Mike Kane’s golf score than actual real SAT numbers. I mean, when you are getting like 1400 on the SAT, you are smart, no doubt about it… but c’mon how are your social skills? (BTW, I got a 820 on the SAT. BTW #2, the kids who were sitting with me, had GREAT social skills.) I looked around the table and thought to myself, "you know Lanford…these kids are the future…they are the 'News To Me' audience… not only do they get the value of user-generated content, they put it to use every day of their lives… and not just looking for ways to increase their Grand Theft Auto scores. They put it to use to spread the word about causes they care about, products they've invented and ideas they've hatched that will make them millionaires!"

I can’t begin to tell you with all the bad press kids today get, how refreshing it was to sit around some kids who had goals that would make even Dr. Sanjay blush: doctors, lawyers, accountants… not ONE said, basketball star, music mogul or that smug remark all kids say today… President of the United States… these kids had real dreams… and I wish them all the best.

Oh, and please keep watching "News To Me" (some of them actually do watch).

BTW, if you were one of the lucky kids who got to take a picture with me… there was a long line… (yeah right)…. please let me know… I want a copy to see what I look like. See, I told you I was getting old.

And now for a little bit of nepotism :

Speaking of youth and user generated stuff, I have to plug my nephew who lives up in the coldest region of the country, Richfield OH… his name is Trevor and he has a band called The Unaccompanied Minors… think "School of Rock." Check them out and maybe you can book them at your next gig! Like every successful band, they're using the web to get their message out. Hopefully The Unaccompanied Minors will become rich and successful and I can just go on the road with them and be their roadie… tattoos and all.

It’s funny, where Trevor got the musical talent I don’t know, but he plays multiple instruments and plays them all well. It seems all my nephews and nieces got all the talent. So to Zachary, Madison and Trevor… keep reaching for your dreams, utilize the web and don’t make an 820 on the SAT like your Uncle Eric.

Keep rocking!

You saw Henri on "News To Me" and you just have to have more, right!? Well, it is with great pleasure that we present the writer, director and voice actor who brought you a look into Henri's world, Will Braden, who has written a series of haiku from a cat's point of view. It's a web-only extra from this weekend's show! To hear the artist's rendition of Will's poetry, click on the picture above.

BTW, did you know that haiku is the plural for haiku? It is. I looked it up.

If you are more of a reader than a listener… or if your philistine boss frowns on you listening to poetry at work… we have a written version of Will's work on the next page.

We'd love it if you would add your own haiku, about cats or anything else! Just click "add a comment" below.

The written versions of Will's work, and instructions on writing your own haiku (it's really easy) are on the next page.

Here's how a haiku works:
First line: 5 syllables
Second line: 7 syllables
Third line: 5 syllables
No rhyming necessary

Like this:
"News To Me" is on
I should be watching, but no
Eric's head scares me

OK… explanations done… without further ado:

Cat Haiku by William Braden

1.
you shower each day
yet your tongue works perfectly
I just don't get you

2.
I lounge in the sun
savoring the morning scents
have fun at work

3.
I nuzzle your leg
as if to say, I love you
and to wipe my nose

4.
I'm writing a book
"humans: good for laps and food"
you're chapter 14

5.
when I watch you work
I'm not curious or coy
I am judging you

6.
I can walk through walls!
I've shed corporeal self!
oh, a new cat door

7.
from high on my perch

I rule over all below

also, I’m stuck

8.
my whiskers guide me

tiny sensors in the dark

also, chicks dig them

9.
I caught you a mouse!

it’s in the kitchen. enjoy!

what is that look for?

10.
cat food can opens!

wait, what is that? pineapple?

you heartless bastard

11.
bringer of great things

daily grinding fount of joy

the can opener

12.
I pee on what’s mine

what do you do, write your name?

yeah, that’s gonna work

13.
I love to eat grass

though it makes me sick each time

like you and vodka

14.
violent growling shake
a twisting closet demon
the vacuum cleaner

15.
feet under covers

are my mortal enemies

your toes are my foes

"Poop in space." "Peeping Tom E.T." "North Pole ice bath." Yes, you could plug those terms into your favorite search engine to find the things you saw on "News To Me" this weekend, but why risk being hyperlinked to something that isn't what you were looking for… or worse… to something that no amount of virtual antiseptic soap will clean from your brain?

Don't risk it! We've got the links to everything you saw on the show right here!

What's more awesome than a lightning strike?
Catching one on video… AND managing NOT to flinch! Here's the full iReport »

Fire on film (but it's no special effect):
Citizen journalists all over L.A. caught video and images of the fire that destroyed historic "New York" street on the Universal Studios back lot. See all their iReports »

Space alien peeping Tom:
So we still haven't seen the whole video… but the mystery of what was outside that window continues to grow! Do your own investigating and see what you come up with… then come back and let us know!
Watch our full report again »
Look for intelligent signs of extraterrestrial life yourself at S.E.T.I. »

North Pole plunge:
See the unedited version of Lars Noring's "Lars Around the World" beach ball video iReport.com »

The shark whisperer:
Visit Save Our Seas for more on why sharks aren't all that bad! Still not convinced? Watch our full report again »

Space Poo!
When ya gotta go, ya gotta go! Watch this and the next time you are aboard the international space station you'll know what to do when it's time to go. YouTube »

NSFA (Not Safe For Acrophobics):
You know the rock climbing is going to be good when the path to get there is more dangerous than the actual climb itself! Don't believe us? See the full video »

Obama Girl may be celebrating, but Mike Gravel is not:
Yes, she had a crush on Obama, but Mike Gravel tried to steal her away… lotta good it did him. See the full (very funny) video on Barely Political's YouTube channel »

Human Tetris:
So many great clips to see of the Japanese "Human Tetris" game show… here are a few including some that you saw on "News To Me," and one from the Italian version that's very… um… Italian.
Original Japanese game show clip
Other Japanese game show clip (w/ the big guy)
Italian (bikini) version
Human Tetris in a Church

Thanks for watching… let us know what you thought of "News To Me." It's your show, so you might as well let us know how we're doing! We're big on feedback!